My Traumatizing Butterfly Experience

okay, so we've all had a traumatizing experience with SOME sort of animal. i've had more than one, but i still love animals because i'm dumb.so, before i start off, and not explain why i freaked out around a bunch of butterflies and have you think i'm a huge wuss (which i probably am) i was six when this happened.

so, my parents decided to take me to the Bronx Zoo (i think that was it) and i was extremely excited about seeing the butterflies.if i did not get to see the butterflies, i'd surely piss myself from sheer excitement.i stayed up all night,daydreaming about the butterflies.the next day, i wore a blue shirt, which supposedly attracts butterflies.

well, when i got there, i could hardly contain myself.i was about to explode and i wanted to run, but i had to walk with my mom, which was slow and painful.it was like being lit on fire while a rhinoceros stepped on your face.finally we got there, and i was jumping up and down and flailing, and people were probably staring.we got in, all was nice for about 5 minutes, then a few butterflies came out and landed on my shirt. it felt weird, and it tickled, and i was slightly afraid / weirded out, but i ignored that and tried to focus on how pretty the butterflies were.i was fine on the outside until about five dozen came out and flew around me, and landed on my face, legs, and shirt. it was itchy and tickly and i was scared to squish them, so i started flailing around, screaming and crying. i made a fool of myself, but i didn't care, because butterflies were evil in my eyes. i probably embarassed my mom, too.

(i did this on a different computer, so that's why my skin looks different.)

Crabs-They Are Scary.

 okay so, I'm back from my hyperbole of hiatus. if that even makes sense. I know at least ONE person has been reading my blog..those two,lonely blogs, and you, faithful reader might care enough to come back for more. so, recently i went to hammonasset beach, and we (me and my friend) decided to go crab hunting. i was pretty confident, i thought i could catch them. well first, i was like this when we were heading over to the rocks:

so,I skipped over the rocks like a olympic runner on steroids, while my friend slowly caught up to me. i was flipping over rocks looking for crabs. i saw one at last, and it was way smaller (and freakier) than i expected. i thought i had a fear of crabs before, but i didn't think it was true since i've never seen a live, wild crab in my entire life.well,i ignored my urge to flee, and tried to pick up the crab , and put it in my bucket. a little lesson about crabs: those things are fast. i spent about 15 minutes running around chasing this one little crab, flipping over rocks that it dove under. until i found something that confirmed my nauseating fear of crabs.I flipped over a rock that the tiny , i repeat, tiny crab hid under. and i found an adult sized crab, about the size of my face.a wave of HOLY CRAP, RUN NOW!!!!! surged through my entire body.i felt like i was going to start puking. the way it moved, the way it clicked it's claws, the noises it made, it's legs.i wanted to puke and die at the same time.i freaked for a second,and was all like "HOLY CRAP, IT'S GOING TO PISS ACID ON MY FACE!!", but then i was all like "i should totally be hardcore and catch this thing." so i tried. it was 20 minutes of:  

eventually i got behind the crab and picked it up. oh god, i expected it to be hard, and not feel anything at all. i was wrong, so wrong.i picked it up, and the crab was SQUISHY.what.the.heck. a wave of sickness washed over me, and i looked at it's wiggling legs and ugly moving eyes, i chucked it in my crab bucket with superhuman force (i hope it learned a lesson, nobody messes with me) and ran back to the sand, scared to the point of shaking.life lesson learned, crabs should never be messed with unless you want to loose a finger or something. they are horrifying.

p.s: i am changing the design of my blog, and i am new to this stuff so please bear with me